There’s a reason why the storybooks and cartoons don’t ever show what comes on the other side of the “happily ever after” in a relationship. Ten years down the road, with mortgage bills, broken-down cars, and screaming tots, ever after begins to look a lot less happy. And it certainly doesn’t look romantic. Younger couples who are still new in their relationships and have their whole futures still waiting down the road, look over at older couples and think, “Oh my gosh, I never want to be there!” And maybe they think that they never will be. Alas, at some point they too will almost certainly enter the same fate—probably sooner than they’re expecting.

The good news? It’s not as bad as it looks. In fact, once you’re well on your way down that path, you hardly even think of it as a “fate” anymore. Sure, sometimes you and your partner will look back on your early dating years and say, “We were so young then. Why can’t we be there again?” But you say it with a laugh and a half-regretful little sigh, not with actual misery or discontent. The truth is, the older couples with the bills and the kids are often just as happy as the newlyweds just starting out. Why? They know more now. Having spent so many years together, yes, the new has finally faded from their relationship. And yet, the more they have gone through together, the more their love and appreciation for one another has grown.

I like to think of the newly in-love state as more of a glamorous thing, half emotion and half imagination, rather than a steady, dependable sort of love. At that stage, you tend only to see the good things in your loved one and none of the flaws. It isn’t until that glamour has faded a little that you can begin to see beyond it to the real person on the other side. Sure, sometimes the truth can come as an unpleasant surprise, but just as often it can be a relief. It’s hard living around someone every day who you envision as perfect. That leads to the stress of having to pretend constantly while you’re around them, trying to make them believe that you also are perfect. The simple truth is, a human mate who makes mistakes is a whole lot easier to live with than a flawless stranger, to whom you can never measure up. So, don’t knock the other side of “happily ever after” just yet. Wait until you’re there and see what it has to offer.

Vote Result

Score: 0.0, Votes: 0