What’s a sure way to keep the love flowing in a relationship and to ease tense situations? This many sound like over-simplifying, but I’m going to say that the key—or at least, A key—to romantic bliss lies in the power of kind words. I know, I know, you think no one’s that uncomplicated or easily satisfied; nobody’s anger or hurt feelings dissolve just because you toss in a few flattering words to smooth things over. And you’d be right—if the comments are insincere. But a funny thing about kind words, they not only soothe the anger in the heart of the person they’re directed at, but they go a long way toward turning your own anger away too.

I challenge anyone who doubts this system to conduct a little experiment. Take a reasonable length of time, say, two weeks. During that time go out of your way not to quarrel with your partner. But go a step further than that. Not only must you avoid quarrelling for two weeks, but if any little tiffs should arise, you must bite your tongue. Take a good long moment to cool off and then apologize for anything hurtful you may have said during the argument. Deflect any attempts made by your partner at resuming the fight, using very patient, even-tempered responses. No, this won’t appear to work right away. You won’t see an immediate change in your relationship overnight. In the beginning, in fact, things may seem to get worse. Your partner, puzzled by your sudden change of tactics, may go on the offensive for awhile, wondering what secret scheme you must have in mind, what hidden agenda you’re just waiting to pull out of your sleeve as soon as they let their guard down.

Eventually, however, once they have time to grow accustomed to this new side of you, their own behavior will likely begin changing to mirror your calmer demeanor. Intentionally or not, they will begin picking fewer arguments. It’s pretty hard to fight with someone, after all, who is unwilling to offer ammunition for your insults. No I’m not saying this scheme of soft answers will resolve any problems you may ever have with your spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend. I’m not saying the two of you will always agree and will live peaceably from here on out. Everybody’s human; even the kindest of words and best of intentions can’t work miracles. Some people may simply be unwilling to live in peace. There are those rare men and women who thrive on conflict, and in whom any attempt to soothe will only provoke further anger. These people, however, are fortunately few. For the average couple, a soft answer can indeed keep the peace.

Vote Result

Score: 0.0, Votes: 0