If you have ever been in a relationship that ended badly, then you should read this article. 

The first few minutes, hours and days after a breakup are the worst.  You are off your food and you don’t want to do anything.  You feel lost and want that person back.  Combine this with sleepless nights, tossing and turning, followed by long miserable days… welcome to the world of break-ups.   You also experience the feeling of being alone and will never be “normal” again.  It’s a horrible situation to be in, but guess what?  You will get over it! 

Humans are fickle creatures.  We crave attention and love, and we hate being alone. Then suddenly, you are alone and longing for that person to come back.   I like to think that we have a kind of built-in resilience that helps us bounce back. 

Friends, being friends, will inevitably dish out advice, whether you want it or not.  

“Try to get back into a routine,” and  “forget about her…” are pretty common. 

Does this advice work?  Does it actually help?  Well, we are all different, and we have different ways of coping with difficult situations.  What works for me may not work for you.  The most important piece of advice I would give a friend is just take it slowly. 

I’ve heard some funny stories in my time.  Cutting up clothes and dumping them in the garbage is one of my favorites.  This is a way of venting anger, and will not really help you feel any better in the long term.  Getting rid of everything that reminds you of your ex is common.  Another important thing to remember is this: you cannot replace that person.  He or she is gone, you’re going to have to accept it.  As with every emotional situation, you need to give yourself time to get over it.  It’s a good idea not to do things or go places that remind you of your ex.  The last thing you want and need right now is to have all those memories come flooding back. 

When the dust finally settles and you get used to being on your own again, it’s important to remember some points.  Try to look back to your time together and enjoy those happy memories.  They are the things you should focus on, don’t concern yourself anymore with pain and anger.  Accept that things didn’t work out and move on.  Try to live in the present moment, don’t linger on the past and what could have been.  Above all, take care and respect yourself:  you will not be alone forever. 

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