Here we continue our look at the possible factors involved in first date disasters. This time we’ll consider the problem from a different angle. Sometimes just as essential as what you do on a first date is what you don’t do. Below is a list of five common mistakes to be avoided on the first date at all costs. The object is to pinpoint what areas might be problem spots so we can take care to avoid these errors in the future. Check off the number of DON’T’S on the list below that you typically DO, and then add up the total score to rate your overall first date performance.

The DON’TS:

#1. DON’T arrive late. Nothing starts a first date off on the wrong foot like leaving your date waiting. Even if you’re only fifteen minutes late, that’s fifteen minutes for your date to worry about whether they are being stood up. A good idea is to calculate in advance exactly what time you will need to leave by and start getting ready a half hour earlier than necessary so you’ll have time to deal with any last minute hang-ups.

***5 points***

#2. DON’T monopolize the conversation. Yes, your date will be eager to learn about you, but remember to give them time to get a word in about themselves as well. If they seem quite or self-conscious, draw them out with questions. Just keep in mind that the last impression you want to give is that of an egotistical blabbermouth.

***5 points***

#3. DON’T fish for compliments. If your date is polite he or she will have already complimented your appearance, but don’t focus so much on your own looks that your date feels you’re more interested in yourself than in him or her.

***5 points***

#4. DON’T go cheap. You don’t have to visit the most expensive restaurant in town, but neither do you want to drag your date to the crummiest burger joint around. Sure, there’s such a thing as a casual date, but for a first date where impressions are important you don’t want to go too casual. Especially if it appears you’re only doing it to avoid spending money.

***5 points***

#5. DON’T be overeager. This one is more difficult than it sounds because on the one hand you’ve got the danger of appearing aloof or disinterested, but on the other you face the risk of appearing desperate. Yes, you certainly want to come off as interested and friendly, but your date probably doesn’t want a marriage proposal your first time out.

***10 points***

Keeping all these tips in mind, try not to become so self conscious and afraid of failure that you’re unable to relax and be yourself. Remember, chances are your date is already drawn to the real you; if they weren’t you probably wouldn’t have gotten this far. That means you have at least one point in your favor…so take it up and run with it!

Now add your scores together and see how you rate below. Remember that in this scoring system less is better! You want the lowest number of points on the list.

20-30 points: Pretty bad. You need to work at holding down you ego and improving your thoughtfulness.

10-20 points: A little better. Still, try to be more conscious of how you appear to others. Your intentions are probably good; just remember that the last thing you want is to come off as egotistical, conceited, or needy. You have a better side so take care to let it show.

5-10 points: Almost! You’re so close to the mark. Just put a little more thought into your actions and you’ll do alright.

0 points. Great job! You don’t need these tips at all; you’re already a first date pro!

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