What do we notice about a person the first time we see them? People have different answers to that question, though many say that it’s a smile or the other person’s eyes that they notice first. So it follows these are the two most important things that give a first impression. I believe that the reason people notice these things first is because they are wired to do so, as they reveal a lot about your personality and character. Contrary to popular belief, it is not just ‘beauty’ that the person is looking for, in the sense of physical beauty, but other things that are revealed subtly and unconsciously.

Eyes are the windows to your soul. They speak a language of their own. Even if you are trying hard to be friendly, your eyes can reveal if you are bored. Eyes are the surest way to detect if a person is being dishonest, and they reveal a lot about your temperament, about traits like nervousness, forthrightness etc. Looking into a person’s eyes while talking builds an instant connection, sends a positive message and also helps you size up that person. Eyes can light up a whole face, make the most ordinary face appear beautiful just by a beautiful and honest expression in them.

It is no coincidence that a smile too begins in the eyes. And just like the eyes, a perfect smile has not just a cosmetic, physical beauty. The most beautiful smile can leave you cold, unless it reflects warmth and kindness and at least hints at the possibility of love. A smile can embrace without touch, invite without words. It can make a day sunny, or envelop you in a blanket of a mysterious star spangled night. It is the simplest and the most honest way to express your happiness at being with the other person, of welcoming them in your life.

It is not surprising then that these are the things we look for, albeit, unconsciously, when meeting a person for the first time. Two things that go a long way towards revealing a person as they are, not as they project themselves. That give us a peep behind the façade that all of us present to the world. Fortunately these are the hardest things to fake. They help us retain a measure of innocence and honesty even when we least want to. And that is what we need to make a connection isn’t it?

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