Do you think you listen, really listen, to your spouse or loved one? Most of us would say yes. We’re not intentionally lying or exaggerating to make ourselves sound better. We genuinely believe we are thoughtful and understanding enough mates to pay attention when our significant other talks. We’re not unloving jerks. We do all kinds of things for the person we care about. Certainly, we’re sensitive enough to do something so small, right? Wrong. It is actually surprising how little we listen even when we think we are.

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Does it sometimes seem like just getting your loved one’s attention anymore can be a major effort?

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Sometimes we get so caught up in the hustle and bustle of our daily routines that we can’t seem to find enough chances to spend meaningful time with our loved one. Sure, we spend plenty of time doing mundane daily tasks together. Maybe we remember to say “I love you” and give each other a quick peck on the cheek as we rush off our separate ways. But that isn’t the kind of quality time I mean. How about personal quite time when there are just the two of you alone together?

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For most of us, dreams come true in our lives without us noticing it. The love we dreamed of, the moments we imagined, the magic that we craved for, it is all there waiting for us to wave a magic wand and make it happen, it is we who neglect the wand. When we are young, there are a thousand things we dream of, little things that make up the essence of love and life. Yet when we grow up, we let our dreams gather dust, just because we are too lazy, or we loose faith in our power to be happy and bring happiness into our lives.

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On the first few dates you step out on, if you don’t know your date well there are probably specific things you have in mind that you’re hoping to learn about him by the end of the night. At this stage you’re still measuring each other up, still trying to figure out whether there could be a relationship here worth pursuing. It doesn’t sound very romantic, I know, the idea of approaching a date with that kind of goal. But the truth is there’s nothing wrong with this. It makes sense to want to know early on what you’re getting into. And let’s face it.

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Sometimes I wonder if we go a little overboard today with the need to constantly have new things. We are forever throwing the old out to make room for the new. Whether it’s our clothes, our furniture, or our houses, we just can seem to stay content with owning the same thing for long. Once the temporary thrill wears off our latest purchase, there’s nothing for it but to go out and buy something new so we can get that excitement back again. The disposable mindset of our society seems to have affected even our relationships with other people.

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Sure, it’s easy to keep the romance alive in a relationship while there are just the two of you alone and everything’s new and exciting. But what about a year or two down the road?

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There are so many do’s and don’ts in relationships, especially regarding fights between partners. All of us have read about the best ways to fight, the so called rules of the game. But of all the conflicting and hard to follow advice I’ve found that two things are absolute essentials when it comes to having a fair fight hat doesn’t turn destructive and egotistic.

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Recounting her history with boyfriends, my friend dreamily recalled that she had split with one guy because he was almost perfect. He looked after her every need, he was kind, considerate, romantic, good-looking, and he wrote love letters!

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Sometimes with all the rush of our busy everyday lives, we forget to stop and really take time for what’s important. I’m thinking about this because of a comment my husband made this evening. He asked if I still loved him today as much as I did yesterday, because I’m not acting as loving now as I was then. I answered that the reason for that is because yesterday I was in a relaxed mood without any work or stress on my mind. When I have fewer worries or distractions hanging over my head I naturally tend to be in a more attentive mood toward my loved ones. Should it be this way?

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